Father Riley says PLAYSE Get FOOKED....RESPONSIBLY!

Well, I nearly had one in me pants this marnin'. It seems every year we warn ourselves as to deliterious affects of de alkahal, and go right de fook out an' mess ourselves up with it again and again.

For here was a yet another prime example of why lower-order primates should not drink or breed.

It seems dat (ahem) allegedly these two (obviously) drunken Iowa yobs decided they better could committ a burglary on a dwelling if they were to take marker and scrawl it all over their faces, to disguise their (in my opinion) drunken, pasty mugs. Save, they forget to check to see whether or not the marker would wash off, which it didn't SINCE IT WAS FOOKAN PERMANENT.

So when the cops stopped their "getaway car" (ha!) and we can only imagine what state of dissarray this was in; well it was an easy, slam-dunk arrest.

Some monkeys were ment to sit in the zoo of life without a proper mate, FOREVER. Some genetic roads, are in fact, meant to be cul-de-sacs. Some ...well ya take my meaning by now sartanlee.

That being said, we realize we enter the full-on season of the drunken yob; the holidays. The commercials are at us, first in the name of the sweet baby, infant Jesus, exhuding us to imbibe copius amounts of, take-your-pick. They always qualify their mantra's with a little spritz of social consciousness don't they? As if this atones from their damnable sins.

The caveat being: PLEASE DRINK RESPONSIBLY.

Please drink Jack Daniels responsibly. What da feck is that? Drink Jack Daniels, responsibly? That's like sayin' please drink 151 Ron Rico....RESPONSIBLY. Please drink dat bloody Yeagermeister, RESPONSIBLY. Please take that foirst hit of crack RESPONSIBLY!

Please get piss, rott-gut hammered, RESPONSIBLY.

Please wake up next to the strip club at 4:30 in the marnin', with the sprinkler system spritzing reuse, run-off water up your nose, RESPONSIBLY.

Please lose your car, stumble home neath the blazing sun at 9:30 in th marnin' with your son havin to throw down the basketball and run inside the house, because you resemble more a zombie, than the boy's father, RESPONSIBLY.

Please wake up next to a Karaoke queen in a flee-bag hotel with the sound of a cop's asp, rapping gently against the door, RESPONSIBLY.

Please wake up in a jail cell next to a member of the Mexican mafia crying to his miserable suicidal self in Spanish, RESPONSIBY.

Please leave your wife, RESPONSIBLY.

Please summon the police and fire rescue, RESPONSIBLY.

Please ruin your life, RESPONSIBLY.

Please fall out de van as you stumble on the seatbelt, smashing your teeth on the curb, RESPONSIBLY.

Please run over a dog, RESPONSIBLY.

Please drain out your bank account, RESPONSIBLY.

Please get in a fight with someone much larger than yourself, RESPONSIBLY.

And so it begins, this bloody season of vomit and purchases; to sarve the Lord Jaysus Christ our savior!